So here’s the deal! I promised three blog posts last week with very specific content (that I am very excited about) but I failed to get them posted. I figured I owed you guys an explanation that went beyond Instagram. The truth is, I hate the layout of my blog. I hate how it’s formatted and quite frankly, I’m bored with it. It’s been about the same over the course of the past 4 years and it was time for a remodel long ago. When I attempted to remodel it last year, I failed due to technical issues. The main reason I am failing to get posts up again: technical issues. I can’t tell you how frustrating it has been but because I coded my own blog when I first began, undoing what I’ve done is much harder than just finding someone smart to take over! They essentially have to unpack what I’ve done before we can even begin to remodel! The other option is to wipe the slate clean and start fresh with a new blog but I just don’t want to do that. I like seeing where I’ve bee and how far I’ve come so as far as I’m concerned, that’s not an option. Might sound a little confusing so if that didn’t make any sense just walk away with this: technical issues!
But that’s not all…
On top of having technical issues, my life led me in a new direction a few months ago. I would be lying if I sat here and blamed the lack of content allllll on tech stuff. The second part of the story is that I’ve been a little lost. Lost with myself! How can I write to thousands when I’m not even sure what I would write to myself? I can’t! I’ve struggled and wrestled with this but have decided that instead of holding out and not writing period, perhaps I should just continue on and let you in! Share the sides of me that struggle. Struggle with depression, struggle to find the motivation, struggle to carry the burdens of every day life. I keep this blog pretty light, I always have. But I have to remind myself (often) that I found my passion in blogging when I had shared one very specific post a while back. It was titled “It’s ok to not be ok” and the feedback I received was incredible. So many of you related. That was where I was at and I wrote about it. When I re-read it, I can’t help but cringe because the quality of the writing isn’t great! But at the time, that was me. Vulnerable me. Re-reading that grounds me and reminds me why I like writing in the first place. I’ve always felt like if my story could help even just one person, then maybe it is worth sharing! So it’s time to share my story again. To share the parts of me that are broken but healing, lost but ready to be found. Maybe not always but every now and again! For me, this is just a good way to hold myself accountable, to connect with you guys on a personal level and remind you that I’m human. I’m a girl in her 20s with joys and struggles that go far beyond the internet. I’m not sure why I started to hide that side of myself but I want her to come back and I’m ready to let you guys in! I’m not perfect and my posts shouldn’t portray that I am. So here’s to doing better!
All in all, the tech problems combined with the feeling that I’ve been a little lost myself led me to essentially, throw my hands up and say forget it! But here I am now. It’s a new day and every day is an opportunity for a new beginning. Today I rise up and I’m ready to burn brighter and stronger than I ever have before. I’m starting here. With letting you in and being transparent. To believing that my story is worth sharing and trusting that God will use it in miraculous ways! 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Last thing I want to address! I hope to reconstruct my blog sometime this year but I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. I’ve done that too many times and I want to be better with that. I hope to start working on it early February and I will just go from there. The three posts mentioned earlier that I was so jazzed about will be going up! They’re complete, I just need to hit publish! Stay tuned for those.
Thanks for reading and for your continued support! I truly truly love this platform and am so grateful to have the opportunity to share my heart with you all!